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3/1/02 - Thank you all for the supportive emails yesterday. And as much as many of you told me it'd be fine if I took a vacation, I don't believe it will happen. Doing Bruno is like a ledge for me, I jump or I don't.
And I know I suffer depression, and sometimes feel a bit weird sharing it with you all, but at the same time it's almost... part of the bruno experience I suppose. Hell, I don't seem to hide much one way or another. And life always continues. As often it's fulfilling and richly exciting (seriously).
Anyhow, y'all are always supportive, and I love you and thank you for it. And being the nutty extreminist that I am, I do my best not to let it obstruct the strip.
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3/4/02 - Okay, here's the patron list, please look up your name carefully, you know how bad my spelling can get. Also, check, in case I missed your name.
And for those who didn't patron, and wish to, please do so in the next couple days, I guess before the end of the 6th.
And as well, for all of you, maybe read over this list with a smile and appreciation for these people (and those unnamed who have bought the books) who have financially helped the strip to continue. I appreciate the support so much.
The following names (and categories to be determined) will be printed in Bruno book#7
over $300
Henrik Olsen
$60-$119
Susan Abe
Corey Mosher
Levi Alexander Szedenits
$30-$59
Jon Ault
Seth L. Blumberg
Susan Conarroe
Glenn Fleishman
B.J. Herbison
Sean Kinlin
Sean L. McLane
Peter Radcliffe
Paul Selkirk
William P. Strang
$6-$29
Jude Baldwin
Matthew Beauregard
Dirk T. Bergstrom
M. Bickers
Isaac Boyles
Anne Brewer
Stephen Cass
Chris Cavender
Esther Cervantes
Benjamin Chalmers
Amanda Cook
Matthew Cooper
Cathy Coury
Dave Darling
Jonathan Despotes
Brad Farrow
Matthew Fedder
Anthony Foiani
Celia Forrest
Christina Grandizio
AJ Grandizio
Caroline Grandizio
Paul Guertin
Fred Hapgood
Jan Hochbruck
Jeffrey P. Hoskinson
Carrie King
Robin Lampkin
Megan Manley
Steven McDougall
Ken McGlothlen
Howell Moffett
Lisa Paul
Sara C. Pickett
Jeff Rattray
Christopher Rednour
Vicky Richardson
Jessica Roy
Emma Sanderson
Peter Sanderson
Anthony Saunders
Daniel Sauve
Renee Seibel
Christopher T. Sims
Tristan K. Smith
Kir Talmage
Lars Throckmorton
Sheryn Turner
Gwyn Whieldon
Jennifer Wisdom
Jay T. Woodward
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3/6/02 - Can I tell you how much, instead of saying "more of a game-plan", I wanted her to have said "more coagulated parameters"? But it threw-off, kinda' distracted the punchline. Ah well, maybe I'll get to use that at a later time.
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3/7/02 - Well, so... ever since my work-schedule changed on Friday, I've not organized my time very well. I do have today's strip lettered, and Bruno herself is drawn in, but the background isn't done. It's another big double-strip, so that means at least a couple hours. And last night I only slept a few hours, and i just can't do it. But tomorrow I seem to have pretty free, amazingly, so Friday two strips will go up.
And I know that this is two weeks in a row I've done this, which is very unlike me. But, I do not plan on making it a habit, and it is not a sign that things are going poorly. I've felt.... well, true, struggling a lot, but the fact that i'm struggling has made me feel rather invigorated and alive, and so I've simply overextended myself. And so I'm tired.
Yeah, and Bruno.... where is she? I have some vague ideas, now that sleeping beauty has arisen... but it's always strange how change in one's life affects everything else. I hope it's interesting. The important thing is that I still feel I'm growing and learning, and that the strip is coming alongside me, and hopefully will stay as alive as it's been.
Okay, I AM tired, this is beginning to sound nonsenese.
My best,
-christopher
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3/8/02 - Okay, so i didn't get both done, but today's strip is worth it no? basically I had it lettered it and had bruno herself drawn in, just no background. And so, then today, on top of that, it took another 4-5 hours. So yeah, didn't quite get to friday's. So... hmm... I'll try for two on Saturday, although I will be out Friday night, so we'll see how that goes. Possibly I'll do one on Sunday, or something.
Anyhow, in addition, or maybe in compensation, I've been collecting a few more "Bruno in the roughs", linked here or there in the left-hand column of links. I got quite a strong reaction to having posted them before, so i hope you enjoy these new ones. And next time when I've saved enough for a batch, I'll post more again.
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3/9/02 - First of all, for those unaware, "Rene Junot" is a really cheap and vaguely tolerably potable red table wine, which Bruno favored, although not as much these days I suppose. And it's strange, I'm actually very careful in the strip to actively not endorse products, to skirt having to call them by name, but this just seemed to work and feel okay.
still a day behind, but again it looks good, so I'm feeling positive. So i guess that "saturday's" strip will run on Sunday, updating at the normal time. That seems like the most reasonable solution.
And yes, this weekend I plan to get plenty of rest. :)
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3/11/02 - Weekend rest was minimal but cohesively sufficient. Trying to get book#7 to the printer, hoping for a mid-april release. Ummm... but why was I writing here... oh right, don't forget, I posted friday's strip on Saturday and Saturday's strip on Sunday, and both are linked (over to your left) under "last saturday".
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3/12/02 - recieved my second rejection letter for "Madge's Diary", this time from King Syndicate. It's a bit of a downer, since they were the ones I had the most hope for, due to their interest in my work in the past. And actually, Jay Kennedy sent me a nice personalized letter, which I will post (and rant a bit about) when i get some free time, hopefully this week. But yeah. Anyhow, ah well. Just to let you all know, as I said I'd keep you posted.
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3/13/02 - on a side note: "ecpyrosis" will not be found in most dictionaries, but it is a philosophical term of the stoics, from the greek "ekpyrosis", and it means: "conflagration; the periodic resolution of all things into fire".
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3/14/02 - Heh, so, two days in a row of double-sized strip, plus continued pre-press for book#7 and yet another very social week, getting everything done just didn't happen. Today's strip is lettered and pencilled, and I'm very happy with it, Public Radio international news keeping a small part of my brain awake (Bush calling Zimbabwe's election invalid, ironic coming from Mr. very-iffy-Florida-winner) and it's 1:30 in the morning, and there's at LEAST 2 hours left to draw of Thursday's strip, and I have to work in the morning, and it's just not happening. I love you all, and there will be 6 strips this week, as always, but none will appear today, Thursday. Perhaps two on Friday, or maybe like last week, one will end up on Sunday. We'll see.
Anyhow, a picture from 1988, in florida, the morning after I swam into the wall of a swimming pool. Though years ago, the look is how tired I feel now (although I don't feel quite as cute as i used to be, but ah well, we all become hairy old men, even women).
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3/15/02 - So I got the letter from Jay Kennedy up online. It's off the Madge pages, or directly linked here. And now I'm off to bed.
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3/21/02 - pre-press for book#7 is done, yah-hoooiiee, and should be off to the printer in a day or two, depending on what the proof copy looks like.
Also, if the 3/22 strip is up a little late, it's because I'll be trying to draw it very late when i get home from seeing "cat power", which I'm anticipating being the topic of the strip.
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3/22/02 - I know, i know, how bold and "up-to-date" this web comic industry is, i can have the cuttingest cutting-edge news. Go to a concert, and then a few hours later have a strip up posted about it. Well, I just got home from "Cat Power" and was hoping to draw a strip about it, and it's 2:22a.m. and I just can't do it. I even drank caffeine, which I never do, and I'm just bottomed out here.
And it seems now a week can't go by when i'm not a day late on a strip, I don't know what to say. Basically... basically, I don't very much like my life right now, and that is affecting everything.
And I know you're all fine with this (or most of you at least), even though it is obviously not preferable circumstances. And I know i need not really say anything. I just wanted to keep you all abreast, I don't want any surprises. Until things change, this "a day late here and there" may continue. I'm working on it. "it", meaning "my life".
It's a work in progress, an instalment piece, a sort-of performance art.
"cat power", by the way, was amazing. She's kinda crazy and is in her own little world... reminded me a bit of seeing rickie lee jones. Laughing, but like she's somewhere else, like the jokes are mostly in her head. And she does this wonderful horse-teeth thing with her mouth, like a mick jagger look, and then this hissing vocal noise comes out, like leather and paper rubbing together.
Anyhow. I'm off to bed. two strips, as before, on Saturday.
my apologies,
-christopher
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3/23/02 - A little insight into how the process works for doing a comic, in a weird sort of way. I figure I've brought up the issue, and it is an issue, and so I might as well really talk about it. And before I begin, of note, right now it's 1:30 a.m. Friday night, and I'm feeling pretty good, but I know what I'm going through is largely situational, and friday night with the strip actually done and knowing i don't have to wake up early, that's enough to lighten my mood. But only as a patch. Active changes to my life need to be made, firstly and mostly currently occupational.
Right now I'm having a lot of difficulty doing Bruno, and this has been going on for weeks. And there's several problems which adequately contradict each other to leave me in a bit of a catch-22. Right now my situation and Bruno's are very different. My being overworked, and plus hating my job are the main things making me miserable, and I am having that "full realization" of how great an impact that has on one's entire life. Brunos' situation does not leave me to be able to express this at all, which means that i should quickly bring in another character to fill that gap, but more important, so i don't expand this small bout of depression she's having which has no source. Now it is normal for her to have deprssion with no source, but since I am seeing patterns of mine's origin, and have otherwise been doing well, and have liked that she has been doing well, it just all feels wrong to give her this me-founded unfounded-in-her depression.
And so what should she do? Since I kinda' don't like my life right now, even the concept of thinking up some life for her right now is near impossible. I've laid down and just stared at the celing and thought, what next? What is happening in her life? Even just "what should happen today?" I'm at a loss, and plus being really busy and so don't have quite enough time, and so it all snowballs. I'm having difficulty writing a strip with a character who right now i can't emotionally identify with, and who i would barely have the time to create even under the best circumstances.
but even more important in this whole debate, as to whether I should just do the strip m-w-f or what-not, is this: the thing that makes my life hell is a 9-5 job, they can be of varying levels of bearability for me, but it's all bad. And so my art is my only chance, my only possibility of escape. But right now it's the only thing I can give up aside from having ANY life whatsoever, giving up sleep greatly reduces my ability to think clearly or enjoy life, and I can't afford to leave my job. Not because bruno isn't bringing in enough, not that it's something I could live on, but my debt has grown enough that I have to keep up.
So the strip is done out of desperation. And frankly, this last year has been the best series of strips I think I've ever done. Someone wrote me and said they'd rather have a healthy goose than to cut it open for the golden eggs. I say I'll cut myself open for the eggs. because we're gonna' die someday, and we're given such an amazing world and such amazing fascilities, that to give up your golden eggs but continue to work a day job which you hate, is in itself death.
See, i'm a selfish insecure bastard (I write, feeling insecure and a bit self-loathing, so take with a grain of salt) and so... so.....
well.. maybe this is the heart of the matter. Without Bruno, i'm not special. i don't know by what priveledge I think i deserve to be special, but it's my hope, it's my fulfillment, right now it's likely the only thing in my life which feels like I'm worth a damn. Everything else is just oatmeal every day for breakfast, and making the bed you're just going to sleep in again, and moving away from the people who matter to you most.
But what am I talking about. Just lost. So yeah, the strip is not going to be reduced in quantity, and I am not going on a haitus. I've always viewed art as a bunch of square pegs, round holes, and a hammer. I'm just going through a rough period. And hell, rough periods often bring out the best work. Look at her walking up Hawathorne and tell me it isn't so.
The eggs are not demanded, and I appreciate that, but I need the eggs. But also, I I like to share.
So what to do..... Basically my plan is to try to change my job first, and now that the pre-press for book#7 is almost done (there were problems, and so before when i thought it was done, i was wrong), I'm hoping things might even out a bit more.
And so today's Bruno, from whence did it come? Well, I was about to just throw in the towel, when, for some reason the strip where she flooded Simone's apartment in Toulouse popped into my head, I think because I always thought she looked kinda' sexy in her underwear there (simply describe me as "sensitive, with drive"). And then i thought, cleaning floor, moving into new apartment, linoleum, bathroom, and the fact that guys do get pee everywhere. it's not a matter of aim, it's just not that precise an instrument. It's like playing "flight of the bumblebee" with a tuba, you can do it fine, but it kinda gets everywhere.
Anyhow, blah blah blah blah blah,
xo
-christopher
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