I made myself go for a walk today, just to get my eyes unglued from my computer screen. There’s always so much to do! But it was lovely. The leaves here in the Adirondacks are still intense and lovely, and the air is crisp and chilly which feels nice when you’re well bundled.
You fool! You’ve doomed us all.
I like where this is going.
So you know (if you didn’t): Urraca is a kind of crow in Spanish and Gorro is a wool cap (also Spanish).
Is always funny to find words in my mother tongue while reading an English text.
Frankly, G’Tier, you could have sent, oh, I don’t know, a message or something to the other rulers letting them know why you were activating a Yontengu before you turned it on and potentially avoided this in the first place. Just saying.
Interesting opening to the comic, by the way.
You mean this thing was actually useful ?
Wow. From superhero to supervillain in a few minutes.
Um, since when was poisoning the entire world a good plan!!
@Amanda, think about that from the ant’s point of view next time you sprinkle ant poison around the kitchen. Before you move into a new house, you make sure it’s fumigated.
Well, it looks like this will be a tale of recklessness: reckless beings who poisoned the air to the point of needing the yotengu, and reckless Gorro who attacked the yotengu without asking first…
It is no clear to me whether the release of the poison was intentional (world domination), in which case the destruction was justified, or unintentional (industrial accident), in which case they really screwed up by not informing the world of what happened.
@Antonio thanks for sharing the the Spanish meanings for Gorro and Urraca. Theyre 3 different cultures in this story, and for the Solians (Gorro’s people) I did steal Spanish names.
You maniac! You blew it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!
Well, that escalated quickly.
I’m not sure the confusion. G’Tier’s people released the poison intentionally, using the wind Yontengu to protect themselves from it.
Earlier, Gorro said, “The four powers of my world have built one Yontengu each. Destroyers made of…”
G’Tier says “we released the poison”, and the wind yontengu was there to protect their city.
I hear you, something isn’t communicating right. Ideas? Thoughts?
One small thing: Change “We’d released a poison…” to “We released a poison…”
Other than that, I’m kind of clueless. I think you communicated that the poison’s release was intentional loud and clear.
I mean, it’s hardly a doomsday device with a doomsday.
Possibly “released” is too passive?
In our world, there are so many accidental releases of toxins (3-mile, chernobyl, and too many industrial plants to count), that it is hard to be sure just from the comic that this was on purpose.
Maybe change the second part of the phrase to “a poison to cleanse the world of all land creatures”?
That gives a kind of religious fanatic feel to it.
Oh, wait. If this is a strict military thing with no religious overtones, instead of “a poison that will kill” how about, “a toxin designed to kill”? Design is very purposeful…
P.S. In the last panel “will kill” shows up again, and could be replaced by “kills” to give it a stronger impact. Or not. Just 2 cents.
It’s still a suicidal plan. How does one city think it will survive after crasing the global ecosystem? This isn’t a bit of polution, this is a global mass extinction. They couldn’t have released a poison that only killed other people? Or some species?
We’re going to go with this as G’Tier’s lin in the second panel
“We purposefully released a poison into the air, a poison designed to kill all large land creatures on our world.”
(Hopefully) shows explicit intent. Says “large land creatures” which means the ecosystem might have a chance. Which is a good point. Originally I was thinking that the water and “beneath land” (bugs and worms etc) animals would survive and be enough to keep the planet living.
But also, something to remember, this is not HARD science fiction. And as well, these are four factions at crazy war, remember the cold war? Not always the sanest decisions about killing EVERYTHING.
Enjoy! 🙂
Oh, and thank you all again for this feedback. Sometimes as an author you know what you’re hearing in your head, but sometimes not what others are reading. 🙂
“Dr. Strangelove” had the bit about a Soviet doomsday system right, though they’d only contemplated building it. They were crazy enough to actually build it.
The idea was to build massive nuclear bombs into ships then park them in shallow spots in the North Sea where they’d found some of the thinnest spots in Earth’s crust.
Detectors around the USSR would sense a US nuclear strike and trigger the doomsday bombs.