11/18/24 – Just A Cat

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On the kingship, Thoos said, "Knox, that 'gun' simply implants a translator chip in each of us, so we can understand each other." Crossing his arms, Knox said, "oh. well. I didn't know that." Gurf zaps Picknar and Thoos, and Thoos says, "see?" Then Gurf zaps Knox, Rigo, and Purrloin. Knox said, "if that's some kind of language chip, there was no need to shoot the cat." Picknar asked, "why not?" Crossing his arms again, Knox said, "because she's... just a cat." Picknar picked up Purrloin and said, "what do you think, Purrloin? do you have anything to say now?" Purrloin meowed. Knox said, "see?" Picknar said, "huh. You're right. I guess they are as dumb as they look."

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I apologize to any kitty cats out there who are reading this.

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On the kingship, Thoos said, “Knox, that ‘gun’ simply implants a translator chip in each of us, so we can understand each other.” Crossing his arms, Knox said, “oh. well. I didn’t know that.” Gurf zaps Picknar and Thoos, and Thoos says, “see?” Then Gurf zaps Knox, Rigo, and Purrloin. Knox said, “if that’s some kind of language chip, there was no need to shoot the cat.” Picknar asked, “why not?” Crossing his arms again, Knox said, “because she’s… just a cat.” Picknar picked up Purrloin and said, “what do you think, Purrloin? do you have anything to say now?” Purrloin meowed. Knox said, “see?” Picknar said, “huh. You’re right. I guess they are as dumb as they look.”
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16 Comments

  1. I dunno, if it works on kangaroos and coyotes, it probably works fine on cats.

    But that said, a cat saying ‘meow’ is just making a mewing sound; it doesn’t really commuicate much (body language, though). So maybe we won’t actually hear the cat talking for a while. Why would it want to?

    1. Xerxes Aragon

      This past Saturday I was taking a tour of model train layouts that were having open houses. One of the layout owners had a gray parrot that goes meow. It actually says the word “Meow”, not replicates the sound. Weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.

  2. RUSSELL

    My personal theory is that 90+ percent of galactic species are in fact no sapient, but the chip fills in the gaps.

    I like Mneme’s idea – the cat has nothing to say right now.

    Wait until she’s hungry.

  3. Pete Rogan

    Having had a cat who understood when I told him ‘no more chipmunks in the house’ and he obeyed me, I’ve little doubt Purrloin is merely biding his time.

    Wish I’d told my cat ‘no baby rabbits, either’ when I had the chance, but, alas.

  4. Say Again?

    I don’t think I’d like a talkative, expressive, communicative cat. I like them *because* they’re already space aliens that deign to manipulate us petty humans for mutual benefit.

  5. Hamish

    I don’t think cats are as talkative as dogs for instance, but they can do some remarkably
    smart things like using the toilet and flushing it when they are done. We had a dog that loved to watch tv and had his favorite shows, and one dog that tried to talk and I believe he could have if he had the right vocal cords.

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